Technical exercise

Noun phrase. Act of practical training for its own sake; to hone a manual skill. E.g. replacing a perfectly functional battery on an ipod.

After letting the new battery charge overnight, I checked it yesterday morning to make sure it had taken a charge - it had - and then attached it to Zara's laptop expecting it to synchronise completely and correctly. It started just fine but, within 15 minutes or so, the battery indicator on the screen was showing 'empty' and it had barely cleared the first 1000 tracks. On the verge of despair, I cancelled the transfer, ready to declare it a short on the circuit board and advise Zara of the need for a new player. Then I noticed that the ipod had retained the tracks transferred instead of losing them. I had stopped the transfer before it had powered down, so it was able to write the track list to the hard drive and save the tracks.

Relay transfers were in order. Three charge-and-transfer sets later, and we're finally up and running. Huzzah!

A little web browsing gave the reason for the problem. The write cycle on the ipod is quite power-hungry and synchronising a 20Gb music database from scratch takes too long on an unpowered port for the battery life of the ipod. It's not a problem on a day-to-day basis, where you've added at most 1 or 2 cd's to your list, just when you're attaching the ipod to a new database. I wish I'd discovered that before dismembering the damn thing.

Changing an Ipod Battery for Dummies

The 3rd gen replacement Li-ion pack from Maplin, bought for a mere £19.99, still in its packaging. The green stick-y blobs to each side of the black battery are plastic tools for levering open the ipod case. Before breaking the seal, and rendering the pack unreturnable, I tried resetting the ipod to factory setting (toggle Hold switch and then hold Menu and Play for 5-10 seconds) and installing the latest firmware updates, but this had absolutely no impact on the battery times. I was convinced the battery was dead.

Having tried the non-invasive methods without fixing the problem, I unpacked the battery kit to start the tricky process of hacking into the ipod case. The two tools provided can be clearly seen - 1 thin delicate tool for the first 'incision' and a bulkier wedge for hardcore levering action. The instructions come with fairly clear pictures, which is just as well, because the actual instructions are a little unclear in the specifics.

Getting the front cover open needs to be approached from the right side facing to avoid the audio ribbon cable. The Hold button should be in the 'hold' (red) position. The trick is to insert one tool about 2/3 of the way down, force open the bottom plate, and then slide the other tool all the way along the side to the top, which disengages the top clip and 2 or 3 of the others. Its then a trivial process to get the rest of the clips to detach. The 5 clips are all attached to the top (white) face and hook into rails on the bottom (metal) case.

Gently tilting the front ipod cover on its face and lifting the aluminium back reveals the hard drive and the fragile audio ribbon. The instructions warn that the ribbon should not be detached, so there's quite a bit of awkwardness in handling both halves without damaging it, but it's a little more flexible than the instructions mention, and will take a little careful manipulation without breaking.

Standing the opened ipod on its side protects the audio ribbon and allows access to the hard drive for removal. The hard drive is encased in an absorptive rubber frame which adheres to it loosely, and should be kept with the hard drive and not removed any more than is absolutely necessary, as the fit is tricky.

The hard drive can be lifted away from the circuit board and battery to reveal the (dead) battery. The copper connector links the hard drive to the circuit board via a connector and can be gently lifted away using the visible copper flap.

Once you've removed the old battery, the entire process operates easily in reverse: attach the new battery, dress the leads under the circuit board, replace the battery in the appropriate cell, reconnect the hard drive, bed it down on top of the battery, and replace the cover, which clips easily as long as the battery leads are properly dressed and the Hold switch is still on (red).

Changing a 3rd gen ipod battery

Zara's ipod battery, after progressively worse performance, has finally gasped its last. Not willing to pay £49 to have an authorised reseller replace it, I've spent £20 on the 30% improved Li-ion cell, and am going to be changing it myself.

Wish me luck.

Pictures may ensue...

... and they have.

Figure skating, infidelity and the Holocaust

It's rather disconcerting when the right thing happens for the wrong reasons. For example, hearing¹ that this figure skater in the Ladies' Event at the Winter Olympics last night was not yet sixteen reminded Zara of a recent incident involving a man sent to prison for conducting an online affair with a young girl for two years that resulted in his imprisonment for sexual conduct with a minor - she was 15 when they finally met and got physical. His defence was that she had never told him her age and, in person, he could not tell she was underage (she no more looked fifteen than Galina Efremenko does).

It transpires that he was married and was, in fact, being unfaithful to his wife during the whole sordid matter. Our laws do not allow for imprisonment for infidelity to a spouse, but it's rather satisfying to me that, as a consequence of this rather shaky verdict, he is being sent to prison and, indirectly, being punished for cheating on his wife.

That's worrying, because my outrage at the length of his term (15 years - totally out of keeping with the transgression, a knee-jerk response to the whiff of paedophilia) should not in any way be ameliorated by other circumstances. And yet, a little part of my heart glows warmly at his downfall.

Which brings us to David Irving's imprisonment for flouting Austrian law. This article captures that dissonant feeling nicely but fails to take it further; that the satisfied feeling at his imprisonment should ring alarm bells far and wide. Sure, we don't like what he says, or the fact that he says it to neo-Nazis, or that he has been seen to be supportive of the far-right agenda to discount the Holocaust as propaganda. So let's not buy his book, or attend his seminars or pay attention to his interviews. Legal recourse just seems too much like pouring petrol on a spark; a good way to start a conflagration.

¹It turns out that the commentator made a mistake in calculating her age, and I perpetuated it by not checking his maths. It makes no difference to the thrust of the argument.

What am I like?

Well, there's been no movement on these for a few days, so I'm assuming I've had all the responses I'm going to get.

And here are the pertinent results:

Johari Window
created on 19.2.2006, 15 respondents.

Open1 (known to self and others) calm, helpful (20%), intelligent (33%), patient, self-conscious, trustworthy (20%)	Blind Spot (known only to others) accepting (20%), caring (26%), complex (46%), confident (33%), independent (33%), logical (26%), observant (46%), reflective (26%), self-assertive (20%), witty (26%)
Hidden1 (known only to self)	Unknown (known to nobody) adaptable, brave, dignified, kind, mature, modest, nervous, powerful, relaxed, religious, responsive, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, warm, wise

full data

Open: I'm pleased to see that the 6 traits I chose for myself are all evident (to some degree) to those around me. This apparently means I have no secrets from my friends and colleagues. And no depth or mystery. I can live with that. Of course, there are very few negative traits in the Johari selection, so it could also be that I'm better at sharing my ups than my downs. I was gratified that a full third of you agree that I'm intelligent, but far more pleased that you think I'm trustworthy and helpful, as these are the two attributes I care about the most.

Hidden: nothing. Nuff said.

Blind: There are a few traits I would have chosen (if not limited to six) that appear - independent and logical come to mind - but far more that surprised the hell out of me. Observant?! That's one I would never have thought applied to me. Sure, I see things around me and comment on them, but I don't think I notice significantly more than others; I just mention them more. Complex?! I always thought of myself as fairly simple. Like an onion, I'm layers of simplicity. Maybe that looks complex from the outside. I'm also not so sure about witty.

Unknown: Again, a few traits no-one else chose that would have made it into my 'Hidden' if I'd been able to exceed six choices. I like to think I've hidden them too well for you all to notice. Of course, you were all constrained by the same limitation on choice that I was, so it's difficult to guess how many of these would have made it through with free choice.

Nohari Window
created on 19.2.2006, 7 respondents.

Open1 (known to self and others) withdrawn, blasé (42%), passive, dispassionate (57%)	Blind Spot (known only to others) aloof (57%), cynical (42%), distant (71%), self-satisfied (28%), smug (28%)
Hidden1 (known only to self) lethargic, unhappy	Unknown (known to nobody) incompetent, cowardly, violent, stupid, simple, irresponsible, vulgar, hostile, unhelpful, needy, unimaginative, inane, brash, cruel, ignorant, irrational, childish, imperceptive, chaotic, weak, embarrassed, vacuous, unethical, insensitive, rash, dull, predictable, callous, inattentive, unreliable, cold, foolish, humourless

full data.

Given less than half the respondents of the Johari variant, I'm hard-pressed to glean anything of meaning from my Nohari Window. I'll give it a quick go, though.

I got a powerful sense of the confusion that can result from semantic differences. Given a choice between withdrawn, aloof and distant, I chose withdrawn, since I feel that is an accurate description for the way I react when confronted with an uncomfortable or threatening situation: I withdraw. Most of you chose to call me distant or aloof (in 2 cases, both!) or even smug, and I can absolutely see how I might seem that way from your perspective when I withdraw. Again, blasé was my choice to describe my laissez-faire attitude to the world, which seems to come across as cynical to you all, except that I'm quite idealistic and sentimental, in my own opinion of course.

If I had my choice, I'd operate Olympic Ski Jump style rules, and throw out the least accurate assessments in each category. A few of the choices were a little strange - panicky, kitty? - but Anon really went to town with a complete selection that made very little sense at all, not only to me but also to those who know me best. Either Anon really doesn't know me very well - a fair possibility - or just had fun making some particularly unsavoury choices. Sorry, Anon; waaay off base.

Overall, then, I've learned that I'm not that deluded in my self-image but need to be more aware of the way that my withdrawal can seem dismissive to others and take greater care to reassure you when I do so, and maybe display a little more of the affection and excitement and awe that I constantly feel.

Fun exercise.

¹The observant among you will notice some small changes to the window headers. The 'Arena' and 'Facade' descriptors didn't give a very clear indication of the purpose of their windows, and caused some confusion about interpretation of the results. On reading this, I've found better headers for these windows ('Open' and 'Hidden') and some interesting information about the exercise itself.

The coins of the fathers

Reading about the coins 'buried' in an Alexander the Great era wall reminded me of a recent article in the Metro about the literally billions of pounds of British money lying around behind sofa cushions and forgotten in old jacket pockets*.

...

Hiss. Wheeze.

Hiss. Wheeze.

Hiss. Whee-

Crackle. "Hey, Jackson!" Click.

Static.

Crackle. "Jackson! C'mere, man. You've gotta see this!" Click.

"What is it?"

Crackle. "Jeeezus! Sorry, you startled me. Check this out! Coins, man. Coins!" Click.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Damn, boy, keep your pants dry."

Hiss. Wheeze.

"Okay, show me."

Crackle. "Look, here. Buried in this, 'soh-fah', did I say that right? They left these pretty much everywhere, didn't they, Jackson?" Click.

"Not quite, boy. Careful with that! That's better. No, we've found them mostly in specific places. They seem to have been associated with the areas most frequented, and left behind as protective talismans or territorial markers. Ah, nice one you've found there. Yeah, the soh-fah specimens tend to be quite ubiquitous. Find a soh-fah, you're going to find coins. We think they were included in prayer circles or as spiritual defences, as they always surrounded one of their communal living spaces. It's all in Chapter 4 of your text, boy. You should know this."

Crackle. "Speaking of coins, Jackson, I found some loose change in the thigh pouch when I suited up this morning. Didn't you have this one last?" Click.

Hiss. Wheeze.

Hiss. Wheeze.

...

*Couldn't find the recent article, but things haven't really changed much since 2002.

Cineworld II - The Open Reply

Dear Mr. Knight,

Thank you for the email and I will try to address all your points.

UGC Cinema policy was never to allow any outside food in any auditoria. Since the company policy was not to post signs to this effect and to avoid confronting customers with policy, the cinemas were treated by many as picnic grounds with dangerous and sloppy foods being brought in on a regular basis. This was not the case at any other cinema chain.

To give you two key examples. UGC Cinemas had three times the number of slip and fall incidents than other cinemas and we were constantly replacing customer clothing damaged as a result of people sitting on pizzas, fried chicken, burgers, chips and fruit in the dark environment. Forgetting profits for a moment, those two elements alone cry out for a change in procedure, if not policy.

Ironically, I think most Unlimited Card holders would be offended if we warned them not to bring such items in. Most card holders have purchased this membership so they can see films in a clean and safe environment and many have voiced their opinion that no food should be admitted or sold at all. Neither UGC or Cineworld could stay in business that way.

Having stated this, we do not support or condone 100% searches (our Stevenage location is an exception) nor are we concerned with small snack items that people often carry with them at all times. I know many of our cinemas WILL hold items (within reason) until after the film. You did not mention which site subjected you to this "search" but I am assuming Eastbourne, due to the local paper's focus on this subject after one unfortunate recent event there. [Greg: details]

It is not our policy or intention to conduct Airport style checks but rather to let movie-goers know that some items are not suitable in a cinema. NO OUTSIDE FOOD signs are up at most cinemas at the ticket tearing point and refunds are always granted to anyone requesting one before the film starts.

Unlimited Cards will go on sale thirteen new Cineworld locations in March. We are committed to this program and although it does not provide immediate profits, it does promote movie-going and particularly helps the least mainstream ones. There are logistics in implementing these card sales that have slowed the program down. This does not imply any lack of commitment to it.

I hope I have helped explain our position further. I can assure you that our aim is to return our sites to what they were intended to be. A clean, safe, comfortable, and quiet big screen refuge of film where snacks are just an economic sideline. I think Unlimited Card holders in particular will appreciate this.

Regards,

Al Alvarez
V.P. of Operations

So, to paraphrase, it's really for our own good, we should be thankful for the new policy, sorry for any teething problems. Call me shallow, but I was just happy to get a response. That it was pertinent and polite was just a bonus. I don't necessarily buy any of it, but it's all plausible enough to have merit. I guess time will tell.

Update
According to the same Al Alvarez in this article, it's mostly about keeping the food eaten in the cinemas 'suitable', i.e. not messy enough to result in damage claims. So let's see what happens when I try to take in exactly the same snacks that they sell. They can't stop me on the basis of its unsuitability, can they now?

Who needs wire-fu?

Be amazed. I spent all 8+ minutes with my jaw on my desk.

Smug

Just for today, I'll accept 'jo's choice of adjective in my Nohari windows. I have a wife who went totally nuts last night and outdid me on Valentine's Day - a rare occurrence, and no less enjoyable for that.

I got home to find my chores done for me, my favourite dinner (lasagne and cheesecake with a fine bottle of red wine) laid on beautifully (decorated table, complete with appropriate flowers), selfless gifts (she got me a Nintendo game! Who else loves their husband enough to buy him games that may steal his attention away?) and moving cards (one of which was in exactly the same style as one of mine to her - we do this kind of thing a lot; a constant affirmation of our suitability for each other).

I love my valentine. Boo sucks to the humbugs!

Help me find my blind spots

My Johari and Nohari character clouds paint interesting pictures, or should do once you all get involved. I'd be curious to know what you see, good and bad. It's completely anonymous if you want, so you can be brutally honest. What an opportunity!

Simply delightful, delectable...

Del.icio.us. Why did it take me so long to come around to this? It's not as if I hadn't heard the word whispered in the aether, and I've been trawling the net for an online bookmarking* facility that would publish - selectively - to pretty much anywhere for a little while now, eventually resorting to doing it myself. Maybe the last time I looked, it hadn't evolved to a suitable level. That's no longer the case.

Hmm. gmail for email, flickr for pickers, del.icio.us for da links, 30 Boxes for my days, BirthdayAlarm for what it says on the box and blogger for my brain... Heaven help me if the web crashes! My extelligence relies on it.

*I'm sorry, blogrolling just doesn't cut it. Unless a vast array of tools becomes available with 'contributor' status , it just doesn't do what I want. del.icio.us does.

Laughing lest we cry

They might want us gone (and want us to want ourselves gone), but at least we'll go laughing! Out of a desire to find out more about the mind behind these treasures, I tracked down Nina Paley's site, to find some astounding animation. It's all worth watching, but I'll admit to a few favourites. fetch plays with perspective and preconception in the most delightful way, while Sita Sings the Blues is a master class in cultural fusion. My favourite, though, would have to be stork (also on the VHEMT site) for the memorable notion of storks as bombing squadrons and that stirring image of the fleeing deer.

Lovers of Anti-Valentine (oh so topical right now) and, more relevantly, 'tis the Season will also probably enjoy Nina's Christmas Resistance Movement, complete with blog.

Isn't there some kind of Talent Tax we can levy on the disproportionately blessed?

Fascinating reading

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

How can they fail with a spokesperson whose name sounds like 'Let's Unite'?

So pretty!

Satellite imagery of the earth by night.

Greg goes Electro

I tripped across Epsilon Minus while listening* to RantRadio Industrial, and was totally blown away by the track, so went hunting for more info, and stumbled across their Girlfriend Security Advisory System. In addition to being an amusing flash parody, it's a passingly good piece of music too!

*Note to self: Need a Music category on the Link menu.

I think exhaustion makes me paranoid

This morning, while running Ad-Aware on a company pc - that already has the all-clear from another spyware-blocker - to flush out a spyware infection, it occurred to me that reporting a large number of threats, and then claiming to get rid of them, is excellent reassurance for the user of effectiveness and worth. So why not lie? Justify your cost and show up your competitors in one simple step. Cunning as a bag of stoats.

Then, this afternoon, after a day plagued with internet connectivity problems, a call to BT's support line had the issue resolved in 5 minutes - at £3.62 a minute! The fact that the support guy got me to enter a new network login and password on their router without checking any of the more obvious possibilities first implies that they knew the solution all along, having caused the problem themselves by patching their DNS server last night, but chose to wait until clients called in instead of notifying them, in order to hush up the consequences and make a few easy quid on the side - like £18 a client times their client base.

Or maybe I'm just tired.

Romantic, or just 'ick'?

snaffled off The Ranting Gentleman with art's permission, because it says exactly what I think

Who needs Valentine's Day?

Well, possibly Hallmark, for one. Thornton's and InterFlora do well out of it. As, I'm sure, do Radisson Edwardian, the Hilton Group, and their ilk. The bump in profits is welcome, but do they need it to make ends meet? Not really.

"The lovers!" the vendors cry, bringing coal and Newcastle to mind. Lovers (should) do the little romantic things that Valentine's day implies as easily as breathing. The romance flows, spontaneous gestures of affection are frequent, songs are sung, gifts are given and bedsprings are tested the other 364 days of every year as well. So, no, the lovers could care less, and in some cases are the loudest denigrators:

"Where's the romance?"
"Romance is spontaneous. Planning it defeats it."
"If it's expected, it's meaningless."

Well, how about all those people who don't care about spontaneity, or those for whom just the effort of remembering on that one day is a significant achievement, or those who don't get any special treatment the rest of the year and value Valentine's Day for the impetus it provides? Nothing says "I don't love you" like not even¹ trying on Valentine's Day. Not very romantic, I know.

Maybe the problem with Valentine's Day is that people have come to equate it with romance.

For me, Valentine's Day is like your birthday, or Christmas; a day you can look forward to ages in advance, knowing you're going to be spoiled rotten on the day. You get to get steadily more excited, you get to wonder how your partners are going to show you they love you this year, and - best of all - you get to plan what you're going to do to show them. It's like everyone has their birthday all on the same day! And, once you're an adult, it gets the added bonus of being a guaranteed-sex day, normally the kind of sex that only happens spontaneously once or twice a year but, because it's Valentine's Day, you get to 'do something special' with forethought and careful planning.

So, romance be damned. It's clearly all about getting wet in advance. Oh, and cards, flowers, chocolates and cheap weekend breaks, of course.

¹ I'm probably as aware as anyone that not celebrating Valentine's Day is not an issue if you're consistently considerate. I've expressly used even to contrast usual behaviour with special effort, so no outraged rants about this, please.

Open letter to Cineworld management.

Messrs Wiener, Alvarez, Stefka and Jones et cie,

I appreciate that you are running a business and that, first and foremost, the goal of any business is to make money. As much money as possible, in fact, in order to satisfy investors and remain competitive. So you don't want cinema-goers bringing in their own food when attending your cinemas when there's a far more profitable source of snacks in the complex. Possibly not the greatest fiscal logic, given the cost/benefit ratio between assuming that, denied of their own food, the customers will buy yours at, let's face it, insanely inflated prices, and the loss of previously loyal UGC Unlimited members who are a steady source of subscription funds and resistant to unpleasant changes in policy. Nonetheless, it's your call, and it's a policy already in place at your non-UGC cinemas and in many other cinema groups. I have to assume that you've done the math and I've come up on the short-straw side of the equation. Fair enough.

It's the disturbingly unprofessional manner in which this policy has been implemented that has me wondering just how much longer your business is likely to remain profitable. Losing customers in a customer-driven industry is categorically not good for the bottom line.

Customers like my wife and I, who were stopped at a cordon after we had obtained our tickets, and asked to open our bags. When we asked why, the usher pointed at a notice that had been raised inside the cordon, attesting to your new 'no food' policy, and repeated the request. Since neither of us were carrying supermarket packets, we simply said we had no food with us, but the usher refused to let us through until we had allowed him to inspect the contacts of our packets - clothes and shoes - and confirm that we were not lying to him. I don't need to tell you that this complete disavowal of our honesty was not appreciated.

Or like the gentleman who was being held up just in front of us. The unfortunate ticket-holder was as unaware of your change in policy as we were and, unlike us, had brought food with him. The ushers would not let him through - in accordance with the policy. Is it also policy, then, to suggest that he leave the parcel outside the complex, on the sidewalk, and fetch it when the movie is over, if it's still there, with no offer to store the package in the manager's office or behind the counter? Is it part of operating procedure to deny him a refund when he, understandably, decides not to chance it? The usher seemed to think so, and so another lost client.

All of this could so easily have been avoided with a little consideration for your customers. Sending out a form letter to existing UGC Unlimited members, notifying them of the impending change, would have been polite. A suitable note on your web site for the affected cinemas would have been picked up by many visitors planning their weekend's viewing. Setting up the notice in the foyer in a clearly visible location, and drawing attention to it and the change in policy when tickets are bought, that would have been prudent. Oh, and a grace period after implementation where ushers are granted discretion to allow customers unfamiliar with the change entry to the cinema or, at the very least, a refund if they so choose, that would have been the mark of a business that has its eye on a primary goal; keeping its clientele.

The fact that none of this occurred, and that the Unlimited scheme is still not being offered in existing Cineworld theatres, bodes for the future of the membership system and leaves me feeling bereft. I love that cinema and I love the ease and convenience of cinema membership, and it looks like corporate lust for short-term profits over sustainable income is going to spoil it.

Yours in mourning

P.S. Being told by your customer services that the reason for the 'no food' policy was the overwhelming number of complaints from customers about other cinema-goers bringing in food just adds to the insult. Why not claim that the reason you charge for tickets is that people complained about being let in for free? It's no less ridiculous, I assure you.